Movies Part I


So I was bored, and I decided to blog about my favorite movies of the last decade. I know, I know, like you really care, right? But I love movies. I mean, I love movies. Plus, maybe you’ll get an idea of how to spend a boring Wednesday night. And if so, you’re welcome.

2000
The Emperor’s New Groove

    Disney, G
    Starring:
    David Spade, John Goodman, Eartha Kitt, and Wendie Malick

    As I think back on what movie I’ve watched more than once and have still enjoyed every time, it’s always The Emperor’s New Groove.

    This movie is just extremely funny. One of my favorite bits of dialogue is

    Pacha: We’re on our honeymoon.
    Waitress: Bless you for coming out in public.

    And it has hardly any songs in it, which I found rather refreshing in a Disney film, although that might be because it was almost shut down and when the film was finally picked back up, the songs that had been written for it (by Sting, no less) were dropped.

Honorable Mentions

    High Fidelity
    R
    Starring:
    John Cusack, Iben Hjejle, Jack Black
    In which Lloyd Dobbler grows up.

    What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

2001

    The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
    New Line Cinema, PG-13
    Starring:
    Elijah Wood, Ian McKellan, Viggo Mortensen, and Sean Astin

    Okay, I had to mention at least one of the LotR movies, right? I mean, just look at them – the fact that they made even just one with such great quality is impressive, but that they made three? THREE!

    And they came out every Christmas. I remember when The Return of the King was finally released, my equally-obsessed Rings fan friend Anna remarked that there was now nothing for her to look forward to at the end of the year. It was a letdown to be sure.

    I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!

Honorable Mentions

    Monsters Inc
    G
    Starring:
    John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Steve Buscemi
    In which monsters are cute.

    Mike: Can I borrow your odorant?
    Sulley: Yeah, I got, uh, smelly garbage or old dumpster.
    Mike: You got, uh, low tide?
    Sulley: No.
    Mike: How about wet dog?
    Sulley: Yep. Stink it up.

    Moulin Rouge!
    PG-13
    Starring:
    Ewan McGregor, Nicole Kidman, Jim Broadbent
    In which I fell in love with musicals all over again. Ewan is phenomenal.

    I had come to write about truth, beauty, freedom, and that which I believed in above all things: love. There was only one problem. I’d never been in love!
    Luckily, right at that moment an unconscious Argentinean fell through my roof.

    Bridget Jone’s Diary
    R
    Starring:
    Renee Zellweger, Hugh Grant, Colin Firth
    In which a fat girl gets fought over by Hugh Grant and Colin Firth. Such a delightful fantasy.

    I don’t think you’re an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother’s pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever’s in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences… But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.

2002

    About a Boy
    Universal Pictures, PG-13
    Starring:
    Hugh Grant, Nicholas Hoult, Toni Collette, and Rachel Weisz

    By far one of my favorite movies ever made.

    Christine: Oh, no… it’s just I thought you had hidden depths.
    Will: No, no, you’ve always had that wrong about me. I really am this shallow.

    The soundtrack is by Badly Drawn Boy, and it is FANTASTIC! Check out “A Minor Incident.” Love that song.

Honorable Mentions

    Catch Me If You Can
    PG-13
    Starring:
    Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken
    In which Leo convinced me he was actually a great actor.

    An honest man has nothing to fear and I am trying not to be afraid of anything.

    28 Days Later
    R
    Starring:
    Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Christopher Eccleston
    In which the humans scared me more than the zombies. (Anyone else feel shaken by what the soldiers plan to do?)

    Jim: What about the government? What are they doing?
    Selena: There is no government.
    Jim: Of course there’s a government! There’s always a government! They’re in a… a bunker, or a plane!
    Mark: No. There’s no government. No army. No police. No TV, no radio, no electricity. You’re the first uninfected person we’ve seen in six days.

    The Bourne Identity
    PG-13
    Starring:
    Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper
    In which Matt Damon was simply amazing.

    I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred and fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?

2003

    Love Actually
    Universal Pictures, R
    Starring:
    Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant, Keira Knightley, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Bill Nighy, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Laura Linney, Martin Freeman, Rowan Atkinson, and about a million other British actors

    I almost didn’t buy this movie, but I’m so glad I did. It’s such a great story about relationships, and it’s not as sappy or angsty as it could have been, (I’m looking at you He’s Just Not That Into You and Valentine’s Day.)

    Daniel: Option One: ask her out.
    Sam: Impossible.
    Daniel: Fair enough. Option Two: become her friend.
    Sam: She’s the most popular girl in school and she hates boys.
    Daniel: Okay. Option Three: kidnap her and keep her tied up in your room until she agrees to marry you.
    Sam: It’s a route I’ve considered.
    Daniel: And quite rightly rejected on the grounds of…
    Sam: Hygiene.

    I feel compelled to inform you that there is (reportedly) a censured edition of this movie that cuts out an entire story to make it more, uh, family-friendly.

Honorable Mentions

    Bruce Almighty
    PG-13
    Starring:
    Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston
    In which Morgan Freeman is God and cool.

    Bruce: Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all mankind. How was that?
    God: That was good… If you wanna be Miss America.

    Cold Mountain
    R
    Starring:
    Jude Law, Nicole Kidman, Renee Zellweger
    In which Renee Zellweger rips a rooster’s head off.

    I think I’m ruined. They kept trying to put me in the ground, but I wasn’t ready. But if I had goodness, I lost it. If I had anything tender in me I shot it dead.

    The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
    PG-13
    Starring:
    Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Sean Astin
    In which Peter Jackson dragged out the final chapter until we were crying to be released from the theater.

    Pippin: I didn’t think it would end this way.
    Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path. One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass… then you see it!
    Pippin:What? Gandalf? See what?
    Gandalf:White shores… and beyond. A far green country, under a swift sunrise.
    Pippin: Well, that isn’t so bad.
    Gandalf:No. No, it isn’t.

2004

    Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
    Focus Features, R
    Starring:
    Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Kirsten Dunst

    This movie blew my mind, no pun intended. I adore Kate Winslet because of this movie. And Jim Carrey can actually be serious.

    Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.

Honorable Mentions

    Mean Girls
    PG-13
    Starring:
    Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert, Amanda Seyfried
    In which Lindsay Lohan was actually a good girl.

    Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism!

    Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events
    PG
    Starring:
    Emily Browning, Liam Aiken, Jim Carrey
    In which I cry at the end every time.

    At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey.

2005

    Walk the Line
    20th Century Fox, PG-13
    Starring:
    Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon, Ginnifer Goodwin

    Johnny Cash: Marry me, June.
    June Carter: Oh please, get up off your knees, you look pathetic.

    I’ve watched my DVD of this so many times, it doesn’t like to play properly anymore.

    And the soundtrack actually made me give country music a chance.

Honorable Mentions

    None.
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