Week Seven – How You Doin’? (Literary Pickup Lines)

What? You want to use literature to pickup chicks like me? Hmm… that sounds familiar.

Keating: A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. And don’t use very sad, use—Come on, Mr. Overstreet, you twerp.

Knox: Morose?

Keating: Exactly! Morose. Now, language was developed for one endeavor, and that is? …Mr. Perry?

Neil: Uh, to communicate.

Keating: No! To woo women.

Dead Poets Society

What literary lines would work on me? Oh goodness, I love this topic!

(To be honest, if any man I know reads this post and then tries to use these lines on me, I will laugh in his face.

And then I’ll probably go out with him.)

Let’s start with the obvious— Shakespeare:

I find the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet romantic, but please don’t try and impress me with any of Romeo’s lines. For starters, Romeo was ridiculous. Plus, that scene is so famous it takes no effort at all to recite it. If a man aspires to be like any Shakespearean lover while pursuing me, I recommend he read Much Ado About Nothing.

Benedick: And, I pray thee now, tell me for
which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me?

-Act V, scene 2

Beatrice: Will you go hear this news, signior?

Benedick: I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be
buried in thy eyes; and moreover I will go with
thee to thy uncle’s.

-Act V, scene 2

Benedick: A miracle. Here’s our own hands against our hearts. Come, I will have thee, but by this light I take thee for pity.

Beatrice: I would not deny you, but by this good day, I yield upon great persuasion, and partly to save your life, for I was told you were in a consumption.

Benedick: Peace. I will stop your mouth.

-Act V, Scene IV

Shakespeare’s sonnets are good source material as well.

Next, we have my lovely Keats:

Forgive me if I wander a little this evening, for I have been all day employed in a very abstract Poem and I am in deep love with you – two things which must excuse me.

-John Keats to Fanny Brawne, July 25, 1819

Any true fan of JK Rowling’s Harry Potter series will understand why I have a special place in my heart for the word “always”:

“After all this time?”

“Always” said Snape.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter Thirty-Three “The Prince’s Tale”

Lines from my Book Crush would make me smile:

“You here to finish me off, sweetheart?”

The Hunger Games, Chapter Nineteen

Bonus points if the guy took the trouble to camouflage himself as mud. Or a rock. (“Well don’t step on me.”)

Finally, if you really want to sweep me off my feet, I suggest you take a cue from the bad boy of the Old South, Mr. Rhett Butler:

But, Scarlett, you need kissing badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. All your beaux have respected you too much, though God knows why, or they have been too afraid of you to really do right by you. The result is that you are unendurably uppity. You should be kissed and by someone who knows how.

Gone With the Wind, Chapter Seventeen

I find flirting tedious. I’m too impatient for it. If a guy is interested in me, he should man up and say so, or risk losing his chance.

Plus, I sometimes fear I have become unendurably uppity. Kissing would help.

We do not read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race, and the human race is filled with passion.

Dead Poets Society

Well, there you go.

P.S. Such a literary lover deserves a literary date, don’t ya think? Jamie of the blogs The Broke and Bookish and The Perpetual Page-Turner has a great post entitled “Book Inspired Date Night!” Check it out- I think I need to go on some of these dates.


2 thoughts on “Week Seven – How You Doin’? (Literary Pickup Lines)

  1. “Forgive me if I wander a little this evening, for I have been all day employed in a very abstract Poem and I am in deep love with you – two things which must excuse me.”

    Haha, excellent.

    Indeed, Beatrice and Benedick are Shakespeare’s best romantic pair, in my opinion. Granted I still haven’t read all of him, but Romeo’s a douche unworthy of the words he gets to say, and Juliet, while much better, still lacks a good deal of maturity and judgement of character. Beatrice and Benedick manage to have an air of reality about them, while still being quite romantic.

    • Good old Keats.

      There are a lot of good things to be said about the play Romeo and Juliet-it’s themes and symbolism-but yes, the characters are what bother me the most. Romeo is a douche, although after studying the play and teaching it for several years, I do hold a soft spot for Juliet. She’s grown on me.

      But Beatrice and Benedick are excellent.

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