Pevensie (2)

Pevensie 2

“You would not have called to me unless I had been calling to you,” said the Lion.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair, C.S. Lewis

My creativity is all dried up.

I can’t write.

I can’t read.

I can’t dream.

And it hurts.

I have half a dozen documents on my computer that were destined for this blog and are unfinished because I’m just so bored with myself. I keep picking up books and putting them down before I can finish even a page. I find my life busy with things I have been told are important but which leave me feeling empty and drained. Somehow I’ve become an adult, and I don’t like it. I feel so mediocre.

I don’t need a nudge–I need to be shoved out the door in the direction of a proper adventure.

So I’m putting it out there: Any one going on an adventure? Need a companion? Sidekick? Blogger? I’m looking for more stories to live.

Because I don’t feel like myself any more.


2 thoughts on “Pevensie (2)

  1. “Somehow I’ve become an adult, and I don’t like it. I feel so mediocre.”
    This isn’t adulthood, I promise. It’s a valley, which is something very different.

    I’ve been in the valley before, as have most people. You will probably have more than one valley before your life is out, but that is also the good thing about valleys: They have ends. I would even say it is good to walk through them, though I can’t express how much I hate them while I am in one.
    If I may presume to offer advice, it is just this. Seek adventure if you think it will help, but don’t be disappointed if even that has lost most of its flavor. Whatever you do, keep walking and seeking and looking ahead, and never let yourself forget that this is a season, nothing more. You may not feel like continuing, you may feel very sure that there isn’t an end, or that it is way too long in coming. These are traps set to bog you down. Fight them. Spiritual things come in waves, and when you will find yourself on level ground or even the mountain, you will see that the valley is much smaller than it seemed while you were in it.

    Every creative person I know, myself included, has suffered the dormant muse, but the muse isn’t dead. Lack of interest is a mild form of depression, and perhaps it ought to be addressed. This might not be great encouragement, but I hope that it does help. As someone who has struggled with depression, I can safely say that perspective makes a huge difference. Know your situation, know your enemy, and the battle becomes much easier.

  2. Dear Emily,
    I hope you’re feeling a little less stuck. I felt the same way over the summer, but my lassitude/inability to create or be passionate about anything is drifting away. If you’d like a penpal or someone to work on a (writing?) project with, I’m here. Just let me know.


    P.S. You have a lovely blog

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